The Three Little Creatures
by amaterasu-kun
Summary: My version of the three little pigs,... a very lame attempt.. be warned.. hoho


The Three Little Creatures  
by Amaterasu  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own RK. Not lovable Kenshin, Sano the Ahou, Ever-stoic Aoshi and Babe-you're-such-a-hunk Saitou. They all belong to the great Watsuki-sama. Thank you for them!  
  
  
Once upon a time, there were three creatures living in a hill among the many furry animals. One was a fox, the other a raccoon and the third a weasel. Their foster mother, Omasu the Owl, told them that they are old enough to make their way into the world.  
  
  
  
"Make sure you make your houses strong" Omasu reminded as she fluffed each one's fur. "And beware of the big bad wolf. He might eat you."   
  
Megumi the Fox protested against this "But mother! Why do we even have to leave here?"  
  
"That's right!" chimed the raccoon Kaoru, Misao the Weasel nodded in agreement.  
  
Omasu scowled and said "Cause the script say's so, okay? Gawd! Why do you give me such impudent daughters." Then in a flash, her face turned gentle and smiling again. "Take care now my daughters."  
  
The three, who scurried to a corner when their mother raised her voice, slowly stood up. Offering a weak smile to their mother, each of them went on their separate ways.  
  
Misao met up a straw farmer along the way. Ah, a cool house I shall have. She thought and approached the straw farmer.   
  
"Heya mister can I ask for some of that straw that you have?"   
  
"Do you have money to pay for it?"  
  
Misao was dumbfounded. "Huh? Money? Er..."  
  
The farmer looked at her in disgust. "Money makes the world go round, you little twerp. Don't expect me to give away these babies for free." And he started to walk away.  
  
Incensed, Misao took out a small kunai from her fur and launched a kick to the man's head. Then she drove the kunai through his shirt and pinned the man to the ground.   
  
"Feh! That's what you get for belittling me!" she stuck out her small tongue and wheeled the barrow with straw away.   
  
On a hill somewhere, the weasel finally stopped and quickly built her house. It wasn't a very strong house.  
  
  
Meanwhile, Megumi was still walking around when Misao was busy building. After hours of aimlessly wandering, she spotted a man stacking a pile of sticks. She wondered how she could convince him to give her some of the sticks. She was sure he'd never give them away for free. She frowned in concentration. After a while, she saw a small wild rabbit dash around. With a wicked smile, she bounded after the rabbit and immobilized it with one swift move. Then she carried the rabbit towards the man.  
  
"Can I have some of those sticks? So I can build my house? I'll give you this plump rabbit in return." Megumi offered, smiling a tad craftily.  
  
The man turned around and smiled a little at the fox's wit. "Sure thing. This will keep me well fed this eve. Go ahead, take as much as you need."   
  
Megumi happily unloaded as much as she could and then she and the man parted ways. At that very spot, she built her house. It was an improvement from the first's pigs house, but not that much. Feh, shows what a little creativity could bring.  
  
At nightfall, Kaoru was weary and tired from all that walking. She sat down and rested on one boulder. She stared far ahead and let the night air cool her down. Then she saw a man wheeling a pile of bricks and she jumped to her feet. She approached the man and said: "Kind sir, can I have some of those bricks to build me a house?"  
  
The man looked at her oddly "Do you have money to pay for it?"   
  
"Course I do!" and at that Kaoru withdrew a brightly colored pouch. She handed it to the man and he unloaded the bricks she needed.   
  
"Nice doing business with you mister!" she called out as she happily went on with building her house. It was a nice strong house.  
  
  
  
******* COFFEE BREAK ***********  
  
  
Omasu: Gawd! Finally I'm out of that hellish costume!   
Megumi: You and me both. (picks lint from her hair)  
Misao: Who thought of this anyway?  
Kaoru: I think it's rather cute.  
Misao: (bug-eyed) What?! Cute? Man! Aren't you weird or what? Who'd wanna spend a day in this hairy costume-thingie?  
Kaoru: (smiling happily) I do! It's my passion you know!  
  
Minna: (facefaults)  
  
Megumi: Gah. Anyway, where are the other characters?  
Omasu: Yeah. This is a weird fic, I haven't seen Kenshin anywhere yet.  
Misao: Right-o! Most fics begin with Kenshin, or with another male character. This one...ahh forget it!  
Kaoru: I think this fic have no love story. What a waste. I do so love WAFF.  
  
Suddenly a voice from the other side of the dressing room was heard.  
  
Sano: What the hell!? What kind of fic is this!  
Saitou: I get to be the bad guy again. Surprise surprise.  
Aoshi: ........... (^^;)  
Kenshin: Maa, maa. Calm don Sano de gozaru. What is the problem de gozaru?  
Sano: This fic is stupid! I get to say only two lines! Two lines!  
Saitou: (eyebrow raised) We heard you the first time chicken-head  
Sano:(cracks his knuckles) Why you!   
  
*WHAM!*  
  
Kenshin: Sano? Sano? Are you all right de gozaru!? Where did that mallet come from?  
Saitou: I think the authoress heard him. Ch, such an ahou.  
Aoshi: I just cannot fathom this interdimensional power of fanfics authors.  
  
  
******** END OF COFEE BREAK ********  
  
One day Saitou, the big bad wolf, came to the weasel's house and knocked on her door. "Let me in little weasel." he demanded coolly and waited for the door to open.  
  
A voice from the inside said "Do I look stupid to you? I won't let you in. So you better be off troublin' other creatures."  
  
Saitou smirked. "Well then. I guess I just have to puff, and puff and burn your house down!" So he whipped out a cigarette, lit it up, puffed a few times and threw it at the roof of the house. In no time, the fragile straw caught fire and weasel-girl was scurrying to get out.   
  
Unfortunately for her, the wolf was already in position. "Gatotsu!" he yelled and thrust his sword. There was a blur of color and then Saitou watched as a black jaguar with blue eyes snatched the weasel away and ran like mad.   
  
"Feh. I hate jaguars that act like ninjas." he muttered as he lit another cigarette.  
  
  
The jaguar ran until he came to a screeching halt in front of Megumi's house. He deposited Misao on the doorstep and then knocked on the door. After giving Misao a long look, he ran and disappeared.  
  
The door opened and Megumi squealed in surprise at the sight of her sister "What happened?" she asked.  
  
Misao sighed "Let's take this inside."  
  
  
Three days later, the wolf leisurely approached the fox's house. "Let me in, fox!" he called out and waited for the response.   
  
"I am a fox you beast and I am witty enough to know that I shouldn't let you in." Megumi replied. She and Misao are seated near the windows and watched the wolf.  
  
"Well then. I guess I just have to puff, and puff and burn your house down!" He strode away.  
  
"What the?" the sisters exclaimed. Relief flooded them as they realized that the wolf wouldn't hurt them. But moments later, he reappeared, carrying a large plastic jug.  
  
"What could that be?" Megumi wondered as they watched him douse the house with the strange liquid.  
  
Saitou finished his task and smirked. This is going to be easy. He puffed his cigarette and threw it towards the house. Instantly, the gasoline caught fire and spread within a matter of seconds. The sisters came out coughing and screaming.  
  
"Gatotsu!" he yelled as he lunged for them but once again was deterred. A huge brown rooster with a red bandanna dropped on his back while the jaguar led the sisters away. The rooster jumped high and landed on his head, causing him to see stars. After a while, he lost consciousness.  
  
Kaoru was busy puttering around her new house when someone knocked at her door. She opened it to find both her sisters on the doorstep. "Oh my! What happened to you two?" she asked, taking note of the singes in their fur.  
  
  
"Long story sis." Megumi replied as Kaoru ushered them in.  
  
  
  
The wolf awakened about sometime around dusk. "Owww... my head!" He complained. Damn that rooster, I'll get him for this. He thought darkly as he stood up.  
  
  
  
".... and so the chicken and the jaguar saved you? How odd." Kaoru commented as the two finished narrating their story. "But it's good that you weren't hurt."  
  
"He'll come here next." Misao predicted. Kaoru smiled at that.  
  
"Maybe he will. But don't worry. My house is made of brick, it won't burn. And I added a fireproof to the outside wall just last week."  
  
"You did?" Megumi asked, a little in doubt.  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Yes, I've seen so many fires on the news that I got worried."  
  
Just then, they were distracted by a voice from outside.  
  
"Hey little raccoon! Let me in!" The frustrated wolf demanded.  
  
Kaoru dashed to the windows and caught sight of the blue wolf. "No, I wont let you in! Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!"  
  
Saitou was caught off guard by that "Not by your what?!"  
  
Megumi and Misao were also in shock "Where did you get that line sis?"  
  
Kaoru smiled sheepishly "From that book I'm reading, titled "The Three Little Pigs"  
  
Saitou, Megumi, Misao : @_@  
  
Saitou then regained his composure. "Well then. I guess I just have to puff, and puff and burn your house down!" He disappeared for a moment and came back with another bottle of gasoline. (Where does he get that?) He doused the house with the gasoline and threw his cig on to it. But alas, the gasoline didn't catch fire, thanks to whatever Kaoru's got plastered onto her walls.  
  
"Dang it! It won't burn! Well then, I guess I'll just have to use my gatotsu." Unknown to Saitou, there were three characters poised behind him, ready to attack him if he harms any of the three sisters inside the house.   
  
"Aku. Soku. Zan. " He muttered. He fell into the stance and yelled "Gatotsu Zero Shiki!" The force of his sword broke through the wall and shrieks were heard as the three females scurried to a corner. Saitou had an evil grin on his face as the stepped through the hole he just made. He sniffed the air and fixed his eyes onto the fireplace.  
  
"Is that soba you're cooking?" His answer was three frightened nods. The Wolf grinned.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, outside, the jaguar, the rooster and a red panther were discussing heatedly.  
  
"I suggest that we go there right now, Aoshi-san! They are already in danger!" The panther insisted.  
  
"Yes I believe you're right Himura, but-"  
  
"No buts!" the rooster said. "I'm going there NOW." he leapt from the bushes and ran towards the house.  
  
"Sano wait!" the panther said and he and the jaguar ran after the mad rooster.  
  
When they came to the house, what they saw knocked the breath out of them.  
  
  
The wolf was sitting inside the living room, calmly eating a bowl of soba. Around him are the three sisters, chatting merrily.  
  
"What the?" Aoshi said as he entered.  
  
Kenshin looked around in bewilderment "This is weird."  
  
"All you wanted was the soba?!" the three males exclaimed.   
  
The Wolf grinned.  
  
  
~owari~  
  
  
amaterasu  
01042003  
  
  
  
Authoress' notes:  
  
Aiyaaaaa!!! What is this?! Another insanity brought to you by Insane Urges Co. Where sanity is a luxury and losing it is the best medicine. This is not actually my idea. Thanks to my sis for bringing this topic up! How wonderful! A new insane fic to start a new year! Thanks for reading and I'll have you know that I can't return the time you wasted for reading this junk. ahahahahahahaha! 


End file.
